EVAWG Information & Support

Working towards ending violence against women and girls in the Derry City & Strabane District.

Welcome to our Ending Violence Against Women and Girls (EVAWG) information page.

We hope you will find some useful information about the types of violence women and girls experience, as well as some helpful resources for anyone in need of support.

What Is Violence Against Women & Girls?

“Any act of gender based violence that results in or is likely to result in physical, sexual, or mental harm or suffering to women, including threats of such acts, coercion, or arbitrary deprivation of liberty, whether occurring in public or in private life.”

— United Nations

Violence against women and girls includes more than physical harm. It often begins with or includes emotional and psychological tactics to control, isolate, and dominate. These tactics are known as coercive control and are often difficult to recognise.

For more helpful resources and organisations that help with issues like housing, financial support, legal advocacy, workplace harassment, mental health, or returning to work, click the button below:

Defining Violence and Abuse

Violence is an action that causes physical pain or suffering.

Abuse is prolonged mistreatment that causes emotional, psychological, or physical harm.

Examples of different types of Violence:

  • Physical

  • Sexual

  • Domestic

  • Gender-Based Violence

Examples of different types of Abuse:

  • Emotional/Psychological

  • Verbal

  • Physical

  • Financial

  • Spiritual/Cultural

  • Sexual

  • Neglect

  • Domestic

Gender-Based Violence

Gender-based violence is violence directed against a person because of that person's gender or violence that affects people of a particular gender disproportionately.

There are many ways in which gender-based violence can cause harm. It can be physical, financial, emotional, sexual, or cause harm and suffering in other ways. What all forms of gender-based violence have in common is that they stem from and reinforce gender inequality.

Some examples of gender-based violence include:

  • Rape or other sexual crimes

  • Domestic violence

  • Stalking

  • Forced marriage

    • A marriage that takes place against the will of one or both people involved. Consequences of refusing or leaving a forced marriage may result in “honour”-based violence. 

  • So-called ‘honour’ crimes

    • Honour-based violence occurs when a family or community member’s behaviour is seen to have brought dishonour or shame. Women may be seen to have lost their honour in different ways e.g. refusing to go ahead with  marriage, having a relationship which is not approved, losing her virginity, going out unchaperoned, etc.

  • Sexual harassment

  • Female Genital Mutilation (FGM)

    • FGM is when someone cuts away part or all of a girl’s genitalia for non-medical reasons. It is child abuse, extremely dangerous, and a criminal offence. Over 200 million women and girls are victims of FGM across the world.  In the UK, it is estimated that around 137,000 women have undergone FGM, and some 60,000 girls under 15 years old are at risk of FGM. 

  • Reproductive Coercion

    • Reproductive coercion is related to behavior that interferes with contraception use and pregnancy such as:

      • Refusing to use a condom or other form of contraception

      • Lying about using a method of birth control, such as getting a vasectomy

      • Sabotaging birth control methods, such as tampering with birth control pills or poking a hole in a condom

      • Hiding or destroying contraception

      • Failing to use an agreed-upon pull-out method

      • Purposely trying to give a partner a sexually transmitted infection

      • Pressuring, guilting, or shaming a partner about their decision whether to have children

      • Forcing a woman to get an abortion, or preventing her from getting one

  • Human Trafficking/Modern Slavery

    • It involves the possession of people by force, threat or deception to exploit them. It is the illegal movement of a person into or within a country. Adults and children can be trafficked or enslaved and forced to sell their bodies for sex. People are also trafficked or enslaved for labour exploitation such as: 

      • to work on a farm or factory

      • to work in a house as a servant, maid or nanny

      • to beg on the street  

What Is Coercive Control?

Coercive control involves repeated use of threats, pressure, or manipulation by a partner or family member to dominate and limit someone’s freedom.

It is abuse.

It is against the law.

Support is available, even without physical violence present.

Signs of Coercive Control

These patterns may indicate controlling or abusive behaviour:

Control

  • Restricting what someone wears, eats, or where they go

  • Taking away phones, keys, or independence

  • Making decisions without involving others

Monitoring

  • Checking devices or messages

  • Tracking someone's movements

  • Requiring constant updates

Money Control

  • Restricting access to money or benefits

  • Preventing ownership of financial accounts

  • Running up debt in someone else's name

Emotional Abuse

  • Undermining confidence or memory (gaslighting)

  • Regular blaming or criticism

  • Creating fear of speaking out

Sexual Pressure

  • Guilt-tripping or coercing consent

  • Pressuring someone into sex

  • Ignoring stated boundaries

Understanding Consent

True consent is freely given, meaning both people know they can say “no” without pressure, guilt, or fear.

If someone feels like they can’t say no, they may agree to something they don't want. In this case, consent isn’t freely or honestly given, and the experience is unlikely to be respectful or safe.

  • There is no such thing as non-consensual sex — it is sexual assault.

  • Consent can be withdrawn at any time. Anyone has the right to pause, stop, or change their mind.

  • Consent should always feel mutual, safe, enthusiastic, and respectful — never pressured or assumed.

Recognising the Signs in Others

Coercive control, violence, or abuse may be present if someone:

  • Avoids friends or cancels plans frequently

  • Appears anxious, quiet, or withdrawn

  • Is always collected or dropped off

  • Texts or calls a partner constantly

  • Defends troubling behaviour from someone close

  • Experiences unexplained financial hardship

  • Dresses differently, possibly to cover injuries

One sign is enough to start a conversation or seek support.

How You Can Help

Whether you or someone you know is struggling with violence, abuse, or coercive control, there is always help available.

Supporting you:

You can always get help, no matter what point you’re at within your relationship. If the relationship has become unhealthy and you have concerns, here's what you can do:

  • Talk to trusted people outside of your relationship about what’s happening as a way to help strengthen your perspective and remove doubt. Don’t be afraid to reconnect with your trusted support network if your partner has already isolated you.

  • If you want to leave and feel safe to do so (such as during the early stages of a relationship) do so with the support of your friends and family or reach out to the professional organisations available that can help you get away as you may not be able to on your own.

  • If you want to leave but you don’t feel safe to do so, consider working with a professional organisation that can help you create an exit strategy that’s safe for you. It may involve access to money, accommodations, transport, and the placement of legal protections.

  • Keep a record of any behaviours, actions, or threats made against you, including dates and times. This can be useful when seeing support during the reporting process as well as during the recovery process if you seek mental health support. 

  • Seek mental health support to help you recover from any psychological abuse you may have experienced and rebuild your confidence and self-esteem. 

Choosing to leave or stay:

You never have to stay in a situation of abuse. You have the choice to leave or seek support from a therapist. A therapist with a domestic violence (DV) specialisation is recommended and in-person therapy would actually be best. 

If you want to salvage the relationship and your partner is committed to improvement, couple’s therapy may offer helpful options. However, couples therapy would only be beneficial after the perpetrator has participated in their own treatment, and the abuse has stopped.

A person might have grown up in a traumatic and dangerous home. They may have seen coercion as an adaptive quality to achieve most of their needs. They, in turn, will use coercion unbeknownst to them. They may not feel it is coercive because it was what was modeled to them and what they always saw.

Supporting someone else:

It can be very difficult and frustrating watching someone you care about experience abuse. It’s important that you’re supportive without taking on too much of the responsibility as it can begin to negatively affect you, too. Some things you can do are:

  • If you think abuse is happening, ask. Pick a quiet time to talk, when the violence isn’t happening. Let the person talk at their own pace, don’t push them to say more than they feel ready to.

  • If the person you are talking to doesn’t react in the way you hoped, don’t take it personally. 

  • It’s better to talk to them about the things you’ve noticed that make you worried, than to give your opinion.

  • Maintain contact - the abuser will try to isolate the victim from their support network so keep in touch with calls, texts, or visits. 

  • Assure the victim that she can always confide in you but never pressure her. Continue building trust with her so she feels comfortable opening up to you. 

  • Believe them and take their fears seriously - the victim may have experienced psychological abuse causing them to doubt themselves and lose confidence. 

  • Listen without judgement, criticism, or interruption. 

  • Avoid criticising her partner because she may feel embarrassed that others could see it and she couldn’t. 

  • Don’t make excuses for the person who has hurt her.

  • Understand that she may not be ready or it may not be safe to leave. Don’t try to force her to do what you think is best. Just be there when she’s ready.

  • Help in practical ways, with transport, appointments, child minding, or a place to escape to.

If you have questions or need support, you can call the 24/7 Domestic and Sexual abuse Helpline on:

Call: 0808 802 1414

Text support: 07797 805 839

Email: 24hrsupport@dvhelpline.org

Website: https://dsahelpline.org/

If you or someone you know is in immediate danger, contact the police by calling 999. 

For more helpful resources and organisations that help with issues like housing, financial support, legal advocacy, workplace harassment, mental health, or returning to work, click the button below:

For more information about the work we do at FWIN as part of our Ending Violence Against Women and Girls campaign, you can contact our EVAWG Project Officer, Holly Reed by email evawg@fwin.org.uk.